“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you…
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned.”
—Isaiah 43:1–2
Macie died. She was 15 years old.
Or 105, depending how you count.
Macie was Jennifer’s beloved Westie. She crossed the rainbow bridge two months ago, and Jennifer’s family has been grieving. As many of you can relate, it doesn’t matter if the subject is a person or a pet…
Grief is grief.
This week, Jennifer’s family learned about an older woman who could no longer take care of her dog. Would Jennifer be willing to adopt her?
Before I tell you her answer, what would yours be?
I have friends who’ve been in that same situation and their answer was: Never again. They would never put themselves through the grief of losing another pet.
I have other friends (okay, my wife) who’ve rushed out to get a new dog. The dog-shaped hole was just too deep. Ready or not, not having a puppy was not an option.
It is a dilemma. What do you do with the opportunity to love again? It’s not an easy question.
And what if it’s not a pet, but a partner of 30 years?
As I think about love in relationships, 4 things come to mind:
Love can’t be replaced. It shouldn’t! Each loving relationship is unique and special and to be cherished. Separation cannot change that.
Love cannot be denied. Even when a relationship reaches a conclusion or separation, love needs to be expressed. Somewhere.
Love cannot be forced. It can be revealed, or chosen, or decided upon, but it cannot be artificially constructed.
Love cannot be easy. It shouldn’t be. Love requires investment and investment requires risk. And risk, sometimes, leads to pain.
I know plenty of people who have been “burned” by the fire of love, who put themselves out there only to get hurt.
Doesn’t that contradict this affirmation from Isaiah? He portrays God as one who will help us navigate the risks and trials of life.
God can help us survive the danger of love. When we pass through the waters of grief and open ourselves once again to the fire of love, we may feel the singe of vulnerability, but we will not be consumed by it.
Jennifer, by the way, said “yes”. She’s falling in love again, with Lulu, also a Westie.
May that give hope to all who have loved and lost. We will survive the leap to love again.
We may learn, in fact,
that we can’t survive
without it.
Have a great week,
Mitch
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