It started last week.
I was standing in the produce aisle, inspecting peaches. An employee standing next to me was humming along with the music from the speakers. Absent-mindedly she said, “I just love Kenny G”. I chuckled and said, “To be honest, I’ve never liked him.”
Almost immediately, she turned and glared at me. She took off one of her latex gloves, and slapped me across the face with it.
“Choose your weapon,” she growled at me. I sized her up briefly, looked at the pricing gun in her hand, and then bolted for the exit.
Two days later I was talking with somebody at the ballgame. He said he hated the designated hitter rule. I told him I thought it made the game more exciting. Wham! He slapped me across the face, whispered “Pistols at dawn”, and turned and left. I’ve decided to start rooting for a different team. Just to be safe.
What is going on? I’ve been invited to four duels in the past three days! I told someone I voted for Obama, and she pulled a sword! I mentioned to someone else that I was against Capital Punishment and before I knew it we were arm wrestling.
Has the world gone mad? It’s as if anyone who has an opinion contrary to yours is suddenly an enemy! This sort of all or nothing thinking is dangerous…and contagious.
I’m worried. This morning a parishioner told me they hated the Harry Potter books. It took three people to hold me down!
It’s been shown time and again that dualism can lead to duel-ism. Remember Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton? They took their political frustrations out with firearms! While I don’t see that kind of violence on C-SPAN, who could deny the divisive, violent undertones in modern political rhetoric and legislative debate?
Come to think of it, Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter came to “magical” blows during a dueling lesson at Hogwarts. It’s true, the Slytherins and the Griffindors seem to be at odds much of the time.
What about you? How do you respond if someone picks the other side of an issue you’re passionate about? Do you rush in to argue? Do you challenge your “opponent” to a battle of who is superior? Do you feel compelled to fight for what you think is right? Hmm. But what if the fighting part is what’s wrong?
Here’s some advice from the writer of Timothy:
Have nothing to do with stupid and senseless controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kindly to everyone, an apt teacher, patient, correcting opponents with gentleness. –2 Timothy 2:23-25
This doesn’t mean you’re can’t choose to like (or not like ) Kenny G. It doesn’t mean you can’t choose to approve (or disapprove) of some elected official. It doesn’t even mean you can’t state your opinion, make your case, and try to share some of your accumulated wisdom in conversation with somebody who disagrees.
But the next time you feel like it’s time to take the gloves off…
Think twice before getting Slap Happy.
Have a Great Week,