The room is dark, except for the tiny dot of light from the lamppost outside my window.
My wife breathes quietly beside me, and off in a distant room I hear a low hum. Probably the refrigerator.
Other than that, everything is still.
The world is asleep, mostly.
I should be too, for another hour or two, but the calm and quiet around me has captured my attention.
Funny, how peaceful things are outside,
because meanwhile… inside?
IT’S A CIRCUS. A CROWDED DEPARTMENT STORE. AN AIRPORT TERMINAL.
MY OWN HEAD IS LIKE AN ALARM CLOCK WITH A BROKEN SNOOZE BUTTON!
My “things to do today” list flashes past me like the crawl on the bottom of a 24 hour news station.
Highlights (and lowlights) from yesterday rattle around my brain.
It’s not just my brain making noise.
My heart seems to have woken up early, too. Worries and fears explode like water balloons filled with angst instead of water.
And is that my own voice I hear shouting at me with ideas and strategies and lists and details?
I guess it is.
Why am I doing this to myself?
Although you wouldn’t know it if you were standing in the corner of my room, there’s a complete racket going on inside my not-so-sleepy head.
i hate when this happens.
When the world presents me with silence…
and my own mind responds with violence.
I’m not alone in this, am I?
Insomniacs, workaholics, worriers, and folks like me who just have a busy week ahead may all be able to relate to the sensation of Siolence:
Silence on the outside, violence on the inside.
You know, the world seems to so seldom give us an opportunity for peace, it’s a shame to miss even one.
Actually, God is the one who prescribed Sabbath time. It’s meant to be a regular part of our lives – an opportunity to cease from all of our busyness, inside and out.
No violence. Just silence.
. . . . .
It’s 6:52am now.
Instead of just stewing in my own personal edition of CNN, I got up and made some coffee. I prayed. I wrote this devotion.
It turns out I didn’t have to face this Siolence lying down (literally).
Just like Jesus, getting up early in the morning and going off by himself to pray, I accepted this invitation to silence and welcomed the peace of Christ into this brand-new day.
This beautiful day.
Whatever comes, I’m ready to embrace it…
(including, I hope, a half an hour nap at some point.)
Have a great week,
2 thoughts on “Siolence.”
All I can say is yes I feel the same way to many times and to many mornings! And yes always hope seems to come in those times always hope! Love ya keep goin! Your doin great!!!!!!
I can relate, Mitch. It’s a very ‘renausting’ experience (renewing and exhausting)! Thanks for the add to my vocabulary!