This is my life. This is your life.

…how can one keep warm alone?
–Ecclesiastes 4:11b

Here’s something that should have been obvious to me.

I can read a million autobiographies, but I will never live another person’s life.

This past week I visited my brother. We’ve been in each other’s lives since the day he was born. We share a brain. We remember the same commercials and movie references from the 70’s and 80’s. Our humor is absurd and irreverent. He’s a part of me.

But standing in his kitchen this past week, I watched him cooking dinner. I saw him raising my niece, balancing work and home and a new girlfriend. I saw his life up close, and I realized…

It’s not my life.

For all the things that he and I have in common, for all our history, his storyline is different from mine.

In that instant, I felt alone.

Not necessarily in a bad way. But I felt the reality that no two paths are the same, not even ours.

The same is true of Jan, the love of my life for 34 years. Even her life is different from mine. She has her own story, and I’m a big part of it. But when I die, even if she is sitting by my bed, I will die alone.

Somehow the realization has been liberating for me.

Qoheleth, the Teacher whose voice we hear in Ecclesiastes, knew this reality very well. It’s part of what makes life interesting. He advocated finding someone to keep you warm at night, to make an effort to journey with other people.

I think that’s why some people come to church, just to have people to be with. This is your life, and if you don’t want to live it alone, that’s absolutely your prerogative.

As for the times when it’s hard to connect, when loneliness seeps in around the edges, we have God.

A passage from Isaiah (among many others) reminds me of this:

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you,
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you.
-Isaiah 43:1b-2

The reality is, I’ll never walk alone. God is present, a companion, a teacher, a shelter, a savior. God is reading my autobiography, present for every page I add to it.

God does not live your life for you, either. It’s just yours. But God helps me live it–guiding my choices, even pointing me in the direction of others to journey with.

It’s a privilege to be granted this life. It warms my heart to look at all the people whose stories have interacted with mine. What a gift I have been given. What a gift I can share.

Somehow, realizing I’m alone…and also not alone, gives me comfort.

This is my life. This is your life.

How very cool that you and I get to be alone…

together.

Have a great week,

Mitch